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This is a prayer, a blessing for the motherbaby called gyana mudra. It affirms the work of letting go, the work of allowing that must happen for the birth to expand, to finally exist and transition into two distinct and dynamic bodies.

Labor begins long before labor.

I have spent all of this year in a space of shared breath with my child. This being lives off of me and everything I do affects the process of my baby’s be(come)ing. This is the labor I speak of that begins long before the slightest contraction waves through my womb. In our world, the motherbaby’s work is often limited to the birth of the child, but the collective energies of birth start their interplay from even before conception.

Spiritually, I met my child’s energetic frequency a month before the physical manifestation in my womb. A bright and radiant light expanded and I knew that a new person was there, excited to come through a portal initiated by me and my partner. A soft, weightless beam of life permeated my body in a profoundly different way, and I felt my child straddling the space between the seen and unseen. Awaiting the best day to root as a human form deep within the uterine wall.

And even before all of this, I was laboring for my child, for myself. Mothering has been my work for years. It has been on my heart to write a book about the intricate parts of this work, and the stories it is telling through my body. The visible parts, and the invisible parts. I think of how a tree grows so tall into the sky, and so we say, “Yes, there exists a true tree.” And because we know that the tree is sustained by roots that are underground, we don’t negate the presence of the roots just because they are out of sight. However, in my journey of mothering so far, I have experienced a certain phenomenon of erasure, or invisibility, because there are parts of this labor that, like those roots of the tree, are unseen. It is from inside the dark spaces of my process that I sense an intuitive illumination to write, and speak, and share my stories with humanity.

This portal Be(come)ing Binahkaye is a part of my process to collect and explore methods of telling my stories. So much more to come in this mothering work, and all my journeys.

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